Wednesday, January 24, 2018

New Year, Same Me

Happy New Year! Yeah I know it's late but it still counts.

I had doubts about posting this because even though there's some new shit happening , there's still some old shit. But in this film industry business that I want and NEED to break into, nothing's overnight and it ain't easy. This journey is long and hard...but you can't give up and I'm never giving up. I consider that to be a good thing unless you mind numbingly suck at it and are too stubborn to admit it to yourself. But I think I fall in the latter category. I've been writing for a long time. I started in the early 2000's, novels and short stories mostly. Then I dived into screenwriting in 2008. I collaborated with Juan Shannon Of Modern Tribe Communications (Google it) on the adaptation of his novel, West Bloomfield. It was my first real experience (working under a deadline). Cans of Mountain Dew and Final Draft were my weapons of choice. Fast forward to 2015. I self published a dark thriller novella. 2016 I adapted it into a feature. And even though I knew the basics of screenwriting, I didn't know the structure and how to show and not tell. I struggled and in that time I felt like Fitzgerald (if you've ever read Syd Field's SCREENPLAY, how Sydney describes him, aside from the genius part, you know exactly what I'm talking about (struggled with the formula, died believing he was a failure etc,.)

ANYWAY, I'm still working on the pilot (same old shit) but things have changed. The main character is a black female instead of a white male (new shit). I'm in this rewrite mentorship group (new shit) that I'm happy about. Got my notes back from my mentor about the rewrite and it wasn't what I was hoping for but it was what I needed to hear. If i send anything out with my name on it, WHEN i send anything out with my name on it, it better be perfect. I didn't take to his feedback right away. I was over dramatic (i'm a Cancer, don't judge me) saying I was going to go back to prose writing and it's too hard. All the quitter mantras. Then I was like, I need a drink before I get back into it. The next day I was like, Okay, lemme see how I can fix this.
A winner don't quit on themselves (quoting Beyonce').  So here I am, yet again. BUT it's a completely different script. Well, not completely. But I prefer Coley over Edward. Both are damaged. Both are programmed or brainwashed into believing a farce that takes them to a dark place, that turns them evil. but I feel like I have more leeway with Coley than Edward, more places to go, more room or whatever.
I'll let ya'll know what develops.

Here's to a blessed and prosperous new year!

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

My First 10 page Coverage

Happy Tuesday ya'll! 
Ya'll know the deal, I ain't be on here in a minute. But I'm back cuz I got some new shit to post. I'm steady on my grind. It's still hard out here for a pimp...or creative. It's all the same to me. Before I start with the content, prayers going out to everyone going through it and affected by Hurricane Irma & Harvey and the victim's families. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I purchased The First 10 Page Coverage on Stage32. If you haven't checked out the site yet, go do it. It's a platform for all creativeswho wanna go to the next level. The coverage was not expensive unlike some sites that offer "services" ( they robbing you blind is what they doing ). Even if I had the money to get them other services from them other sites, mama still didn't raise no fool. It takes money to make money, but since I'm a woman on a budget, i gotta take my opportunity where I can get it. Feel like i'm running off tangent.

I sent the executive of my choosing the 12th or 14th revision of my pilot. Feel like i've been working on this pilot forever! Well not forever, but you get the gist. I sent the script to her. Two or three days later, I got my response. I was like, Damn that was quick. I was expecting a week or two. Let me think I knocked it out the park or that she was interested in reading the rest.

Suffice it to say, i didn't knock it out the park. But i didn't do too bad.
Overall, it wasn't too bad and I appreciate Sarah taking the time. I will pick her again when I finish my 16th revision of Kilbourne aka Kilbourne 2.0.  I defintely want to make this pilot everything it needs to be and I'm holding anything back. The new opening scene is not for the faint of heart.  There will be some stomach turning but it's not blood and guts. There's drama in it too, as well as kinda a love story.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. The process is sooooooo hard but your determination has to be harder. There are overnight successes. Nobody blows up just living life.  It doesn't happen like that.
And I ain't even in the game yet, you'd think when I get in the game it will get easier right? Have an inkling it's gonna be the opposite.  That's why God created liquor. 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

The Waiting Game

Happy Wednesday people!
Today's officially hump day......just another day to a boss. But for the rest...the weekend's almost here. Time to grab a coke and a smile (preferably with liquor in it, hence the smile) and pat yourself on the back.

I've been keeping busy with writing the series overview for Kilbourne, The pilot script is finished. I've completely abandoned it. I've submitted the script to five different contests. It's definitely addicting. My limit was four, it was actually three. But then I saw Final Draft's Big Break and WILDsound's Screenplay and feedback festival and I was like " What the hell?" Throwing in there for good measure. But after that, i refused to spend any more, even though it's an investment. I'm not made of money. I'm not Oprah. I'm not even my Aunt Tilda, and she got money.

What do you do after you enter 5 or a string of contests? You wait. Play The waiting game. I don't know about you but I don't have the patience of JOB.
When we're little, we wait to grow up. We wait to be of certain age to drive, and to drink. We wait to have sex (some of us) etc,......  When we see our doctors or endocrinologists, we have to wait for that shit too.  We wait in that room. Wait for some chick or dude to call our name. Wait for the doctor to finally see us, then wait to be checked out. You'd think we'd be masters of The Waiting Game by now. And some are. I'm clearly not.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Stay Tuned

Happy Sunday ya'll!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers. Good mothers, bad mothers, mother figures, stepmothers and half mothers.  We see you.

I finished the 7th draft of Kilbourne. Been working like a madwoman these past two weeks, but it was all worth it. Submitted it to two contests. Script Pipeline and Blue Cat Screenplay Competition.  So we'll see what happens.
I've been writing for a long time. But I'm not the same writer I was when I first started. I didn't have access to the resources i have now.  And it is a process and everything takes time. And whoever doesn't believe that is full of shit.

God has called me to be a storyteller, whether it's through my spoken word poetry, the scripts i write or the books i put out. (Oh shit, did I just say books?) and an innovator, to make an impact on the world.
We all have a purpose, and if anyone tries discourage you from fulfilling that or bring you down in any way by saying your dreams/goals are unrealistic and based on fantasy, they don't know the true magnitude of God's power.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Nothing like That Feeling Of Accomplishment

Happy Thursday bitches!

It's April 20. National weed day!
 I ain't no weed head but I do like to dabble.
Today is my day off from writing, even though writer's never get a day off.  I finished the fourth draft of Kilbourne. I feel like it's contest ready but I need more eyes on it. I read it, made some notes, sent off to my people (writer friends) and uploaded to one of my writer's groups on Facebook, my Stage 32 account. Now is the hard part. Waiting. For Feedback. Just waiting in general. Hated it *in Antwon Merryweather voice*

This pilot started out as a horror (cuz i'm a horror fanatic. How are you a horror fanatic and don't write horror? It just don't happen like that. Never heard Stephen King write a comedy or Alfred Hitchcock dabble in romantic western) but I went where God took me and it ended up being a psychological thriller. I started writing this in March or April of 2015. Two and a half years. That's a long ass time. It's like a relationship.

It's getting close. 10 days til D day. Wish me luck!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Getting It In

Happy Sunday ya'll! Yesterday was officially Daylight Savings. We done lost a whole hour. We don't know how to act. We are we gonna do in between time?? Open to suggestions. Got any??? Just gonna keep doing the same shit? Ooohkay.

You know I had to come back with an update. I been working hard since I last came on here. All work and no play makes Aray closes to being successful. I had an epiphany (it happens). Instead of writing a 60 minute pilot, I shortened it to a 30 minuite pilot cuz there's never been a half hour horror series ever in life unless I've been living under a rock. I finished the first draft on the 9th (take a shot for me) and shelving it for two weeks and then I'll revisit it and....spin straw into gold, basically. Once I'm satisfied, I'll register it to the U.S. Copyright Office (THE ONLY CONCRETE WAY TO COPYRIGHY YOUR SHIT). The contest deadline is on April 30th, so I got my work cut out for me, but without hardwork we wouldn't get anywhere. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?
If you would like to check out the book that's inspired by the pilot, here it go
If you don't like it, keep it to yourself. If you loved it, review it and let the haters know.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

2017..It's Just The Beginning

Happy Thursday beautiful people! And Happy #NationalScreenwritersDay for all you writers out there!

I usually don't do this unless I have something to say.  If you read my posts or if you're just lurking, you know the deal.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and a great start of the New Year.
Most people got toasted..I was one of them.  It's a celebration! Might as well celebrate.

My Christmas was good. Spent time with my family and celebrated Jesus, which is what it's really all about.  All that gift giving hoopla is for the kids.  My Two cents.

Anyway, I don't want to get away from what this blog is about.  It's about my screenwriting journey..there will be some random shit along the way because I am very random, and those who truly know me know it.  If i happen to inspire people along the way. all the better for it.
Yes, I am a screenwriter and ...yes I do have a book on Amazon called Blood Is Thicker Than Water. The first volume of the series, but there will be no Vol 2 and Vol 3, so it's hanging out there like an idiot.
I also have a poetry collection on Amazon too, Expressions Of Me. But that won't be the last poetry book I put out.  Just waiting until I have a gang of new poems on deck, ready to be displayed. It's kinda hard to focus on your project and find the inspiration to write poetry.  I have 2 new poems total. The rest will come when it's supposed to come.

I'm not an author anymore, in the novel sense of the word.  For a while I was teetering around with the idea of doing both.  For those who can, I applaud you, wish i was more like you but I can't and I'm not ashamed to say that.  The truth is, I don't want to do both.  I've been bit by the screenwriting bug. Dipped my toes in the screenwriting pool an shit and went back for more.

I'm starting 2017 off right by planning my days, creating a schedule and sticking to it, exercising.  Got these Tae-Bo DVDs sitting here collecting dust so I'm making use out of em.
I got a Panda Planner.  Bought it on Amazon on the 30th. Had to pay five dollars extra for it to be shipped on the same day but it's worth it.  It's day four on this new regime and I already feel a difference.  New year, new me..NOT. Still the same me, just working on some shit.

The last thing was rewriting my horror short.
After doing some thinking, I'm putting all my projects on the back burner and focusing on horror pilot, Kilbourne, which is inspired by my novella Blood Is Thicker Than Water.  It's a passion project for me.  I'm very passionate about the characters, the storyline and where I want it to go and the many places I can take them.  The MC has been revamped.  In the book, he has psychopathic behavior.  In the pilot, he's a full on psychopath. He killed both his parents and he spent 12 years in a mental asylum.  They misdiagnosed him as a sociopath.
I'm not gonna give too much detail.  You'll have to follow my blog to see what happens with it.
I'm entering it in the tv writing contest. I have three and a half months to finish the rough draft and finish the rewrites.  So we shall see.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Poetry Hour

She was born into a world that wasn't her own
She never felt safe
Not even in her own home
Conceived by a child that never grew up
Disregarded by a woman who never knew love
Cast aside without a second glance
Tossed out like pure street trash
Turned away by the one that bore her
Taken advantage of
By the only one who claimed to love her
The only one who had the power to destroy her
He spoiled her
But it came at a price
Her body
For the finer things in life
When she resisted
She saw a side of him that she thought never existed
A demon
Instead of her savior
A dark entity
Instead of her serenity
He ruined her
And made her irrelevant
A victim of her environment
Another statistic fallen by the waste side
An unplanned pregnancy she couldn't afford
An unborn child she was forced to abort
She could be anything she wanted
But no one believed in her
So she chose not to believe in herself
No one ever loved her
So she doesn't know what love is
Never took the time to learn to love herself

A Couple Developments & Random Shit

It's Thursday people! What you doing with your life?

I'll start with the developments and end with the random shit.  Here we go.

I'm currently in the process of rewriting my horror short FEAR, wrote a detailed outline and everything cuz it felt rushed, which would make this the 6th draft but I'm gonna stop until it hit 10. Until i'm completely and utterly confident cuz rewriting is writing. Rewriting is fundamental.
Still learning how to master the horror structure.  I'm sticking to it because this is  the genre I picked.  This is the genre I live for.  I LOVE horror and gore at the same damn time.  Grew up on Tales From The Crypt, Carrie, Psycho and some other scary shit.  I could be Hitchcock's illegitimate black daughter, you don't know.

The deadline for Stage 32's Search For New Blood contest has expired and I'm sad to report I did not have a finished product to submit.  However, that's not gonna stop me from finishing the script.  I feel like every vampire movie or tv show I've seen pales in comparison to my kind of vampires.  I feel like i'm the only one who can introduce the world to my breed of vamps, and I'm more than grateful for the privilege.
The last vamp tv show I watched was Van Helsing, and I couldn't get into it.  Let's forget the fact that they look like extras from The Walking Dead.  Are they vampires or are they zombies? Do they want brains or do they want blood? I can't tell.  Anyway,  it's the zombie apocalypse and the survivors are held up in this hospital, along with the soldiers, the zombie doctor and the main character one of the soldiers (Axel) is sworn to protect.  The main character (Vanessa) is laid up on a operating table, a zombie comes in and bites her neck.  Afterwards, he starts spitting out blood.  She awakens and punches the shit out of him.  Later on, the zombie reverts back to a human and we find out there's something special about her blood.  Her blood is the cure.  So they basically ripped off I Am Legend.
All that aside, I still couldn't get into it.  I didn't care about the storyline or the characters or what happens if the zombies got a hold of Vanessa.  I'm not knocking the show. It gets points for being kind of original.

While we're on the subject, it kinda has that Warm Bodies feel to it.  Horrible movie by the way.  The zombies aren't all bad, all they need is TLC. Like they have a cold and chicken noodle soup is the cure. GTFOH.  You think these lovesick zombies would stand a chance against the Resident Evil Zombies?

Right now I'm at my desk sipping on a big ass mug of tea.  I'm going back to tea since I feel like coffee makes me more irritable.  And the strange thing is, coffee used to have a revers effect on me but now up is down and down is up.  I love coffee, my favorite is Folger's Black Silk, but I find myself cranky all the time when I don't have it.  I don't know.  I can't be the only one.  I still love coffee, i love tea too but it's a different kind of love.  I'm a coffee addict now, itching for her next hit.

Let's talk about these telemarketers, OMG they blowing up my cell, blowing up my home phone.  I'm like lee me lone(leave me alone).  I ain't humoring you.  If I don't recognize your number or got it in my memory bank, I ain't picking up the phone.  I hope you stay broke. Cuz ya'll work on commission.

Until the next time...........

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Don't You Just Love Updates Part 2

Happy Tuesday beautiful people! Hope you started your day off right.  I sho nuff did.  You know they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Steel cut oatmeal with blueberries and..turkey sausage on the side.

Gotta get rid of this gut I'm sporting.  I keep cheating but I don 't stop trying.   Back at week 1.

A lot has changed in a month's time...well maybe not a lot.  But a significant amount where I feel like I need to update y'all on some shit.

Regarding Black Lives Matter, still not giving up on that..just putting it to the side for a minute.
In other news, a producer from Stage 32 hit me up on Facebook saying he was looking for a short film to produce.  He liked the logline of my horror short on my site.  FEAR was reborn.  After more than a couple rewrites and emails back to back, I finally completed the short and now I'm waiting for feedback.  If all goes how it supposed to go, I will see FEAR in development.
Now I before I looked him up, I thought he was some random..and being the suspicious person I am, I asked questions and did my homework and IMDBed him.  He's legit so...I'm all for making magic when magic happens...or something to that accord. (I'm not good with words).

I've also been offered a proofreading gig.  Let be clear, I hate proofreading.  I applaud the people who can actually without killing themselves.  I commend the people who actually love it. I don't see how you can love it..but to each their own.
I did it once. I can't, for the life of me, do it again..but money is a great incentive.  That's all I gotta say about that.
I'm currently writing a vampire horror script for Stage 32's Search For New Blood Contest, and when I say horror I mean horror.  None of them watered down or lovesick vamps, REAL vampires.  Savage beasts.
I grew up on The Lost Boys and Fright Night.  I want it to take it to the next level,.
I just need more time on this deadline.  Pray For me.

Last but definitely not least, Blood Is Thicker Than Water.  The pilot is still going strong.  Still on Act three.
I didn't do an outline before I began.  I LOVE the purpose of an outline but I rarely do them.  I like to dive right in and what happens is, it takes me about 5 or 10 minutes to come up with something new to write (roughly).  But that's my process for now.  I plan to outline in the future, if my brain will allow it.
I gotta say i'm loving my 40's! So much better than my 30's.  And I only have GOD to thank for that.  For giving me this amazing gift and all HE's done for me.  I'm blessed.

I want to thank you  for reading.  Thank you for visiting, and thank you for sharing.  Live, Laugh, Be happy.  Love more and hate less.  Blessings xo

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Progress Is Progress. Even Progress

It's Thursday...meaning one less day til Friday.  But for a boss it's just another day.  Hope y'all are well and when i say ya'll I mean my followers, friends, family, lurkers, fans, admirers and haters.

When I last checked in, I was informing ya'll of the latest with Black Lives Matter.   The short is actually finished am I will be hosting my very first table see how everything flows and if it doesn't flow, i'll see how i can make it flow.  I'm really looking forward to it.
Next on the agenda will be shooting it. Getting a cast and film crew together.  
After that, getting the film into Stage 32's Short Film Contest......and winning that shit.

My pilot, Blood Is Thicker Than Water(formerly named Next Of Kin) is officially on Act Three!

 Two more acts to go, considering it is an hour long.   This pilot is different from book one but i plan on taking parts from book one and implementing them in this project but i have to choose wisely because this pilot is different from what I started with it....good different.  I'd say 40%  from book one and 60% will be some awesome shit I'll create.

I just mentioned book one like there's a book two and book three, like it's not sticking out like a sore thumb right now on Amazon and iBooks.

More to come.....

Thursday, July 28, 2016

It's A Marathon Not A Sprint

Happy Thursday people!  Hope ya'll are off to a great start x
Do what you love and love what you do..and if you happen to get paid in the process it's all for the better.

I'm finishing up the third draft of my short,  Black Lives Matter (RIP to LOU, changed the title cause it fits in with the theme of the movie. Corrrrrrrrrdinate!) , and plan on getting a film crew so we can shoot it next month.  So we can get this baby to the 2017 Sundance Film Festival! Of course win, I mean what other alternative would there be?  All joking aside, I'm hella HELLA excited.
I'm sure there will backlash because of the issue it tackles but I'm sure there was some backlash for Free State Of Jones but that didn't stop Matthew Mcconaughey or the director from taking care of business and doing what they wanted to do.
I'm sure there were a plethora of movies that are involved as well.  But it's a small thing to a giant.  I'm not being full of myself, i'm just keeping it a 1000% real.    Love me or hate me.

I'll be on the lookout for local talent..

On the pilot writing front, NEXT OF KIN is still going strong.  I'm getting closer to finishing it.  Thank you Jesus!  I'm easily distracted and need to put my tablet down from time to time.  I listen to a lot of August Alsina when I write which helps me to stop overthinking...but then it's not an exact science.

Regarding BLOOD OF SECRETS, i'm still undecided.  I have two ideas for two separate stories, different beginnings but the middle and the end are the same.  And you know what they say about writing the same shit, soooooooooooo...i don't know.  If it's meant to be, it'll be.  If not, you'll see my work on the screen instead of in bookstores.

Monday, July 11, 2016


Happy Monday people!  It's the first day of the week.............

Hope you had a good weekend x A lot of disheartening shit going on the in the world.  Cops killing innocent people based on the color of their skin.  I'm not saying all cops are the same.  There are some good cops out there, men/women that will put their life on the line for anyone, regardless of the color.  But the majority needs to be stopped, needs to be reprimanded.  My heart is still heavy over the violent slaughter of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, not to mention (WE MUST NOT FORGET) Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin, Freddie Gray, Tamir Rice, Rekiyah Boyd.   I pray for their families as well as the families of the officers who were killed in Dallas.   They didn't deserve that.  NO ONE deserves that.  Violence is not the answer.  Violence only begets violence.  It's so easy to hate but it's more powerful to love.  In order to effect change we must use our brains instead of our fists.  In order to effect change, we must lift our voices and do something about it, make the world safe for our kids to live in.  In order to effect change, we must band together.  In order to effect change, we must be that change.

When I first heard about Alton Sterling, I just turned 40.. so you can imagine how difficult it was to celebrate this milestone in this life, knowing that the world is in the shape it's in.   My thoughts of Alton and his family overpowered everything else.  I spent my birthday with my mother and Maker's Mark (I had to get my drink on regardless)  I had plans of going to Vegas for my birthday.  A milestone birthday is huge and I wanted a huge celebration, but due to lack of funds and the way my money's set up, it wouldn't be possible.
It was pretty ok as birthdays go.  Had a cake, my mom cooked one of my favorite meals and a bottle of Maker's....Mediocre.  I have a laundry list of mediocre birthdays and didn't want to add this milestone to the list, but it's too late for that.   Still not giving on Vegas though.

Some news on the writing front.........I just finished the first draft of my short, LOU.  Now the real magic can begin aka the rewriting process.   Also an update on the pilot, I have Act Two down.  Three more acts to go.  I can't lose this momentum i got right now.  Gotta keep building
                    WE gotta keep building.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Getting That Old Feeling Back

Happy Friday people!  Hope you are blessed and stay loving what you do and doing what you love.

Speaking of, I'm actually writing another book, which is crazy because I said i wouldn't write another book.....welllllllllllll i got that old feeling back and falling back in love with prose writing again.  I'm really feeling screenwriting as well (I'm all over the place right now) .  For those who have enjoyed my first volume of the Next Of Kin series, THERE WILL BE A BOOK TWO.  Also a tv pilot in the works with the same name but it will be an alternate version to the book.    In the book, Alex/Henry's mother dies while giving birth to him, his father attempts to take his life but is stopped by a dirty cop who kills him and raises the baby as his own.  In the pilot, Alex/Liam is ten years old, kills both his parents and gets sent to an asylum until he's seventeen.

Screenwriter, novelist, poet.  I'm a writer damnit! No labels.  Period point blank.  Point blank period.

I'll post excerpts from the book and the pilot as soon as I get rid of the shitty first draft.  Not a big fan of the shitty first draft but there's something to be said for making it as shitty as possible...there's nowhere to go but up.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Pop The Cherry

Happy Friday ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is officially Friday The 13th

Which means there will be a Halloween marathon on for the rest of my horror fanatics.
If you are a suspicious person (and I'm not) try not to walk under any ladders or run up on any black cats, or have the black cats run up on you.

The title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the topics.  I just find it so ridiculous and people have called me ridiculous so it fits.

I woke up at 8 o'clock in the morning, grateful and blessed to see another day.  Still tryna get me myself and I back on schedule but it hasn't happened yet..but I'm not giving up.  Cuz when you find something you like you can't go back to bullshit.
Life is not promised.   Everyday we wake up, do what we love, spend time with the people we love is a blessing.  Something we must cherish and not take for granted.

Topic #2
I recently lost three pounds due to my vegan-esque diet (no bread, pasta, beef, pork, rice, potatoes unless baked sweet potatoes every other day, no dairy, no eggs unless they're white, no flour, no sugar, no salt only Mrs. Dash, no corn, no peas, no cabbage, only four baby carrots a day, only raspberries, blackberries, blueberries and strawberries, no bacon unless turkey bacon or turkey sausage, no oatmeal unless steel cut, no meat except fish and has to be baked, chicken or turkey)
I plan to stick to this until I reach my goal weight...180
I'm not gonna say I haven't cheated when I have.  When I was babysitting my niece and nephew, of course they weren't gonna eat what me and my mother were eating so we got some extra food and fired up the grill.  Hamburgers and hot dogs.  Calling my name!  I ate a hot dog and later on a bowl of ice cream.    I guess that makes me weak.  We all fall down but we get back up.  Man, Donnie McClurkin's song is in my head right now.

Topic #3
Regarding my pilot, the last post I made I was fifteen pages in.  There have been some changes since then.   I haven't felt like doing anything, let alone writing until recently.  I hadn't written an outline before I started and was stumped.  I would sit in the chair, laptop on my lap and stare at the screen.  Writer's block, overthinking or too much in my own it whatever you will.  It had got so bad that literally i felt like crying.  I wanted to write so bad but instead of everything coming up roses, everything was coming up crap.  I couldn't even make crepe'.

Things are looking up for me though.  I've had a creative breakthrough.  I'm unblocked.  Ideas are pouring in.  Loving where the story and the characters take me.  I plan on riding this mother^^^^a out til the wheels fall off.  Also I'm changing the setting, bringing the beginning into the new millennium instead of 1963, which would make it inspired by my novella.  Have someone in mind to play the dirty cop but it's too soon to tell.   Finished 6 pages yesterday, after starting from the beginning and getting my breakthrough.  I'm still fifteen pages in...but now I can see over the horizon.
It's gonna be a dark and twisted beautiful journey.