I'm back!

I haven't been on here in a minute.

To my fans, i'm sorry..........

Currently, putting the finishing touches on my novella so it will be ready for the public.  I would rather be proud of it than tossing it in the garbage...so kinda hella busy at this point. 

The final release won't be long now.....


I'm working on no sleep....or at least less sleep.

This draft I'm working on is better than that crap shilled out on my first.  I'm going to keep it real. My first draft was crap!

But I'm taking that crap and making crepe'

All good things

Stay Tuned

I will be on a cover reveal blog tour for my upcoming YA horror/suspense release "Next Of Kin" on the 25th of the September which will include my set release date for the book.  I'm super excited and hoe everything turns out well for both

Every woman has a breaking point

Aaaaand i feel like I've reached mine.  Lying is a deal breaker for me.  I can't take anyone lying to me or making a fool out of me.  I don't think i deserve this.  Sure i have my ups and downs an i lash out an say things i don't mean but i have always had his back, been supportive and remained loyal.  I wouldn't even think twice about doing this to another human being. I truly wish him the best in his future endeavors but I'm done for the last and final time.  He doesn't deserve my support, my love or my friendship for that matter.
This might just be a blessing in disguise. From here on out, i'm going to continue to do me and focus on my own life

Next Of Kin..it's coming

When i first started writing Next Of Kin i wanted it to appeal to all ages (except children) but now i'm not so sure.  I don't care who you are, there's always somebody doesn't like your work.  You know what they say, you can't please everybody.  A piece of good advice i live by is write from your heart and write for a specific person you created in your mind.
I've been thinking about the cover a lot lately...maybe a trail of thick dark blood leading up to a woman's cold wretched body in a pool of it (That's all i got so far).  I don't wanna give too much of the story away..but there is someone who wants to gain control over my main character's body.  Could it be someone close to her?  Could it be a stranger?

Here's the specific's: i'm on the 110th page so i figure i got 30 pages to go.  Hmmmmmm! I know it's not a competition but i feel like i'm losing.  Not putting in enough time as i should on this.  I guess i'm racing against myself.

Is it better to have loved and lost then never to have loved in the first place?

I casually stumbled upon @faygeorgina88's blog She quotes those are the words she lives by..It's better to of loved and lost then never of loved at all. I used to live by those exact words and even though it rings true, I still have reservations. Experiencing love, REAL LOVE( and no it wasn't mutual) and heartache, it causes me to pose the question. What if i never loved him? I wouldn't experience the pain i felt when i found my love was not returned, when i found my dreams and visions about him weren't real. Of course, there would be a downside to having my memory wiped..the good memories. The memories of me being apart of his team, of us arguing and him getting on my damn nerves, the jokes and the laughs (all of the above). I loved him for two years and still love him, and even though i didn't know him (i knew him, still do). We didn't have a relationship we had a situationship. We have history, and that's where it gets sticky cuz for me (at least for right now) i'd rather choose the ladder. Love hurts. But the moral to the story is...take the good with the bad. Cherish the memories. Try not to regret it if you can.... My 2 cents

84 pages down! 37 to go

I'm halfway done and it feels even though its been awhile since I've written anything other than a script, it feels like i never left. I don't consider myself a newbie because I've always wrote (just under a different format) After years of second guessing i'm finally staying put, finding my niche' I'm very excited about this book. Excited about people reading this book, reading this hopefully unique story. I'll keep you posted

Lesson Learned

I've had my fair share of experiences..had my first love (unrequited) and my heartbroken cause it was unrequited, and had my first and second hater.  At first when I saw her tweets i racked my brain to find out why she was judging and posting negative things about me.  I'm a good person with a good heart but some people just hate for no reason.  Maybe she was jealous or hate the fact that i'm not scared to say what she wanted to.  Who Knows?


My first unrequited love..was a independent R&B artist hailed from London.  I first discovered him when my sister posted a YT video of his and at the time i was scrolling through her FB wall posts. It was January, 2012 I think.  Kinda foggy on the month.  I watched his Sex Therapy cover and was blown away.  And everyday after that i checked out his channel, watching his covers like crazy.  I was a fan in that moment.  I found his twitter page, followed him.  After about a month or two, we developed a rapport (friendship) and i started catching feelings for him.  I asked him if he was taken.  He said yes and my heart sank.  I don't know why but my first emotion has always been anger.  In an effort to not bore you with my story, i'll cut to the chase.  Two and a half years i was apart of TeamDDB and was grateful to be apart of something so great.  Even now, i have no ill feelings toward the other party.  He was indeed a lesson and not the blessing i had so hoped he would be.  But it changed me for the better..a very important lesson.  I've literally created 4 TeamDDB accounts (on separate occasions) cuz i didn't want to give up on him.  But what I had to realize was, it wasn't about him it was about me.  Months after i deactivated my last and final account (TeamDDBLVL) i made a decision i can no longer be his fan but i do want to try  to be friends.  But now i'm not so sure.  If i  really knew him it would seem like we've been through a lot..and i think we have. But just because you've been through alot with someone  doesn't necessarily mean that you need to rebuild.  Sometimes you have to read the signs, keep it moving and cherish the memories.

Newbie to book marketing

I recently paid for a promotional service to promote my book. It was 99$. Any higher and I wouldn't have done it.  I did because clearly because my promotion sucks.  I can admit it.  All I can say I did my best (got my book on B&N Nook, google play and Kobo and send out some free press releases, used Twitter, FB , Instagram and Google + to my advantage, got 31 downloads on my free days, some sales) but I guess it wasn't good enough.  But i'm reminded of what my ex online friend told me.  To just be patient.  While it is true, i haven't fully mastered that yet.  But I don't want overnight success.  Because while it would make me happy, it could be taken away just as easily as I got it.  So while i'm learning to be patient i'm still learning the ropes of book marketing and promotion
The fat lady hasn't sung yet

Nirvana

We say goodbye to 2013
And hello to 2014
Making room for new opportunities
Considering the possibilities
Making New Years resolutions that never stick
Saying things like I'm gonna lose 30 pounds
Imma quit smoking or quit drinking
But never getting around to achieving it
Thinking all they gotta do is say the words and God'll pull them through
God helps those who help themselves
And those that better themselves
Everybody's screaming New Year New Me
And i'm like New Year
Old me
Different mindset
Cuz i wasn't fully awakened yet
I was still stuck in the past
Not what is
But what was
What shoulda been
What coulda been
It shoulda been us
But there is no us anymore
Said goodbye a long time ago
You and me equals mess
A mess i can't clean up
A mess i can't make sense of
My eyes are open
And finally see myself for who I am
Not that person i forced myself to be
I loved you
I looked up to you
Wanted to be like you
But you can't love anyone
Cuz you can't even love yourself
How could I look up to someone so small

R.I.P M.A.D

Tarnished ( Spoken Word Poetry)

In transition mode

I'm currently working on my second book, which was at first meant to be screenplay, back when i actually wanted to be screenwriter.  Novels are more detail - oriented whereas a screenplay (script) is all about action, thus my dilemma.  I sometimes find it difficult when I'm writing to resist the urge to go straight to the heart of it considering what is still burned in my brain.  Like if i was still writing the script, i would write a brief flashback instead of a more detailed flashback.  I find myself having to retrain my brain sometimes.  It's been awhile since i have written a novel.  But definitely not inexperienced.  There's just some things you can't unlearn.

My goal is to write a thousand words a day.  I tried the Stephen King method (2,000 words a day) but needless to say it doesn't work for me.  Everything ain't for everybody.  But i do try to stick by his message "read alot and write alot"  I'm on page 49 of my book, Blood Is Thicker Than Water and am excited to see what unfolds and what my readers will think of it.  To give you a taste of what I've been working on, here's a preview.

Maize pulled up to the driveway, stepped out of the car and noticed that the door was cracked.  He walked in.  The house was quiet.  Too quiet.  The lights were off.  Pitch black.  He couldn’t see a thing.  He turned on the lights and saw the thing he was most afraid of.  My mother.  Laying in a pool of her own blood.  It had turned black and gooey.  He looked at her pale face.  Then at the rest of her.   Not only was she murdered, but the bastard took it upon himself to mutilate her body.  A big K was carved in her.  He was horrified at the sight of it.  He could only imagine what we were going through.  Who would do something like this?  He thought. 

He noticed the gun next to her body.  He glanced at it, picked it up.  It looked like his gun but it wasn’t.  Someone was out to frame him.  But he didn’t know who just yet.  Suddenly he turned around and saw us standing in front of him.  The sound of police sirens interrupted him before he could say anything.  They were coming closer.  We looked at him.  Saw the blood.  Her face.  The carving.  We were in a state of shock.  It was a horrible experience.  No child should see what we saw.  The kind of thing that could scar someone for life. 

Maize was in cuffs.  The house was surrounded by police officers.  Dusting for fingerprints.  Taking snapshots of her from all different angles.  Observing the body.  Questioning Isobel and I.  We stared at her corpse.  A single tear trickled down my cheek.  One of the officers covered her with a sheet as if that would get the image out of our heads.

“Did you guys happen to see anything?”  The rookie asked.  He was fresh out of the academy and anxious to dip his toes in the proverbial pond.

I wasn’t talking.  To anyone.  Neither was Isobel.  We had so many things consuming our thoughts, that we couldn’t keep them straight.  We blocked him out.

“Did your mom have any enemies?  Come on, help me help you.”

“Talk.” He said, frustrated, slapped me across my face.

“Talk.” He slapped me again.

“She’s been through enough.”

Suddenly the detective lifted up the police tape, walked in.

“What do we got?”

“Single black female.  Early to late thirties.  Shot to death.  And the perp was thoughtful enough to send a message.”

He lifted up the sheet, examined the body.  He was utterly disgusted.  In all his years he spent investigating dead bodies, this was a definite first.

“We got a suspect in custody.  Fingerprints were found on the murder weapon.  He got motive and opportunity.”

“Did anyone see anything?”

“They were the only ones to see her before she died.  They know something, but they’re not talking.” He gestured to us.

“Maybe they don’t like you.”

“Be my guest.”

He approached us, took a seat on the couch.  He looked as if he knew what we were going through.

“My name is detective Forrester.  I know this is tough on you.  I considered your mother a friend.  I want to put whoever did this behind bars.  But I need your help.”

Tarnished

You and me will never be
So I'm asking God why me
Why these visions
The dreams of him and me
When it really wasn't him at all
It was The Devil
Tricking me
Confusing me
Making me think it was prophecy
No matter how many times I ignore the truth
My heart is deeply wounded
And the scars are buried so deep no one can see
He was my first
I remember when I was just infatuated with him
Even before I caught real feelings for him
Asking God to let me be his rib
Thinking he was just a faze like all the rest
Thinking he fitted into this pattern I created for myself
But I was dead wrong
I got trapped
I fell for a dude I hardly know
For a dude I never even met
I had dreams of being his wife
Of having his child
Of helping him build his empire
And even though I cut all ties with him
I still love him more than I love myself
I never felt this way about anyone in my life
What crazy situation did The Devil put me in
How did this happen?
I didn't sign up for this
I didn't want this
Wanted the regularity
The stuff I'm used to
I'm still new to this
See, all my other infatuations had a shelf life
I was so used to it
Who knew this dude was gonna break the pattern and have me questioning what's real and what's not
I don't know what's real anymore
If this is a test
I'm flunking
I'm talking F+++
Cuz in all reality it doesn't matter to me
Who he is
Who he was or will be
He's not apart of my life
And I make no bones to be apart of his
Cuz the truth is
An even more still
I just want him to be happy
Hope he's with who he's meant to be with
Hope she pops out 4 or 5 kids
Hope he lives happily ever after
If I believed in happily ever after
I gave him all of me
An maybe that's where I went wrong
I actually thought he was The One
Cuz he was the one that got through to my heart