Thursday, April 10, 2014

Lesson Learned

I've had my fair share of experiences..had my first love (unrequited) and my heartbroken cause it was unrequited, and had my first and second hater.  At first when I saw her tweets i racked my brain to find out why she was judging and posting negative things about me.  I'm a good person with a good heart but some people just hate for no reason.  Maybe she was jealous or hate the fact that i'm not scared to say what she wanted to.  Who Knows?


My first unrequited love..was a independent R&B artist hailed from London.  I first discovered him when my sister posted a YT video of his and at the time i was scrolling through her FB wall posts. It was January, 2012 I think.  Kinda foggy on the month.  I watched his Sex Therapy cover and was blown away.  And everyday after that i checked out his channel, watching his covers like crazy.  I was a fan in that moment.  I found his twitter page, followed him.  After about a month or two, we developed a rapport (friendship) and i started catching feelings for him.  I asked him if he was taken.  He said yes and my heart sank.  I don't know why but my first emotion has always been anger.  In an effort to not bore you with my story, i'll cut to the chase.  Two and a half years i was apart of TeamDDB and was grateful to be apart of something so great.  Even now, i have no ill feelings toward the other party.  He was indeed a lesson and not the blessing i had so hoped he would be.  But it changed me for the better..a very important lesson.  I've literally created 4 TeamDDB accounts (on separate occasions) cuz i didn't want to give up on him.  But what I had to realize was, it wasn't about him it was about me.  Months after i deactivated my last and final account (TeamDDBLVL) i made a decision i can no longer be his fan but i do want to try  to be friends.  But now i'm not so sure.  If i  really knew him it would seem like we've been through a lot..and i think we have. But just because you've been through alot with someone  doesn't necessarily mean that you need to rebuild.  Sometimes you have to read the signs, keep it moving and cherish the memories.
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